“No regular milk please. Soy milk please. Oh. Sure, no worries. I’ll take Oat milk then. You ran out? Do you have lactose-free? Great. And I’ll have this gluten-free chocolate-chip cookie as well, please. Do you want this salted-caramel brownie?? No?? Ok. Yes, I pay by card. Cheers. No, I don’t need the receipt, thanks. I get it through the app, yes. It’s better for the environment. Oh and here’s my cup. Can you rinse it out as well? That would be awesome, thanks! No, I would never buy real leather or fur, are you insane?! Nobody does that anymore. I’m still boujee tho, I love me some fake leather. Most brands stopped producing fabrics from animals anyway, where would I get these today, the black market?! Some rich family?! Big yikes. You’re out of your mind. Yees guuurl, show him! You met on tinder or hinge? He just sent you a snap! Such a clapback to your snap. Oh my god, but you guys have such a crazy streak!! Make sure you’re not delulu again like the last time. Your last delusionship was more than enough, can’t handle another one, ok??? You’re my bestie and I love you, somebody’s gotta tell you gurl. But your outfit is hella drip today, where’d you get these jeans from? The thrift shop? Slay!!! Omg, I found such a cute top there, I’m wearing it today. I saw Billie wearing it once, I had to get it! Fit check: Check! She’s so snatched. So fire. I girlbossed way too hard today you will not believe what I said to him! You blank-stared at me and I was shook! I’m such a GOAT, I know. No need to remind me. You know his aura just hits different. Whenever we hang out, he’s so chill and I don’t get the ick. You know like I did the last time?! It was horrible, the way he chewed and wore those shorts… I thought I’m gonna throw up. I ooped. It’s giving mid vibes. Nothing special. He’s such a bussy like my ex. And I don’t want to come across as a bop. So not cool. Jeez have you seen her the other day!?? Her mom is such a Karen. I think I said hi to her, but then turned around as fast as I could and just left, haha. Iykyk. In my head I was like “OK boomer” and laughed by myself. Haha. Anyway, what are you up to this weekend? I was thinking we can go to “that place” again, you get me? It was so out of pocket last time, I’m kinda scared. Please don’t be a creepozoid again, promise?!! I mean you’ve got rizz and stuff, but you freaked me out. My friends told me it’s a huge red flag. Bro if you do it again you’re cooked. Promise you will not scare me again like that?! It was so sus, I almost cried. I need to touch grass now, can’t stare at this thing any longer. I yap too much anyway. Way too much. Pluh.”