She stood outside on the viewing platform and watched him from a distance. She knew he wouldn’t notice, so she snapped a memory of him. The photo showed just him and the limitess sky, a few skyscrapers and some restless clouds, while concrete dominted the bottom of the picture. He stood there with one leg crossing another, super relaxed and peaceful, smoking a cigarette, leaning on the railing, watching into the wide unknown. Although he knew his city pretty well because he lived there most of his life, right in that moment, he looked more like a stranger in his own city. Almost like a tourist. He was so dreamy. The picturesque resemblence of a person, who knew his way around, who knew all the streets, the shops, the bars and museums, loved to escape reality and feel like he does not belong. How cliché. Despite all his dreaminess, he was certain he would make it far in life. Unlike her, he knew exaclty what he wanted and was capable of. Unlike her, he didn’t watch her from afar, romanticizing a normal outing together, taking it entirely out of proportion, as if it was their last time seeing each other. But, how do you know it’s not the last time? Did he know it was their last time being here, doing this?

As they kept on strolling through the streets with the sun shining, wind blowing and people talking, she couldn’t help but feel as if this moment with him is all there is and all there should be. She was fully content in every fibre of her existance. Why be greedy and want more from life than just this? And isn’t this already more than enough? The city they were in was not one she called home. It felt like home, but not because of him. It felt like home because every time she visited, she kept exploring new things and places. Does it make sense?

Once they got home, they sat on the floor, playing a board game. She can’t remember the name of the game, but she remembers him explaining it to her and her not listening. She never listened when he talked. Her hearing and vision turned blurry every time he opened his mouth. So she pretended that she followed his words, when in reality, she couldn’t help but wish for him to never stop talking, so she can intensify the mental picture in her head, in case this is the last time they sit on the floor playing this board game. So, maybe she was the one who knew that all this could be over soon? While sitting there and staring at him like a foolish teenager with hearts in her eyes, she convinced herself right there and then, that life is only fully lived when living in the moment. She struggled living by that principle, but with him, it felt so easy to be present.

The exploration of the city and sitting around with him and doing nothing, while feeling absolutely everything, made her think of how life should be lived. Every day, she explores new facets, reactions, feelings and vulnerabilities about herself and thus explores her personality ongoingly. Constantly changing and evolving is what she calls home. It is what makes her feel at ease. It helps her to stay present and enjoy every moment. And with him there on the platform, exploring the city, while also exploring herself, is why she took a photo of him. Him, in his city, and her behind the camera, exploring him, is how she explored herself. And on this day, on this very viewing platform, she knew exactly that this must be love. It couldn’t be anything else. Not a platonic friendship, not a meaningful crush. Although there most likely will never be a shared future or a life toghether, she learned how to feel about life through him. Who knows how long this feeling of love might stay or how soon it might be over, before it even starts.

They say that by looking at what people photograph, it reveals to you what they are most afraid of losing. Her mental picture was simply not enough. It was too fleeting.