Does this sound familiar? If so, then challenge yourself on this thought and rewire your brain to climb out of this black hole, and forgive yourself for your love failures once and for all:

“I’m glad that all the people, who ever tried to love me, are doing better than me, and are not such big losers as I am. It is unfair to downplay their feelings toward me, but I can safely say that loving me was hard. My response to failure, hurt, and anger was so toxic, I was impossible to love. Still: They did love me. Hard. Tender. And rare. I was not capable of appreciating anything but mess; attracting even more of this kind. Ultimately, becoming this kind myself.

How can I ever blame someone for trying to love me and failing to do so? They didn’t fail because the connection wasn’t real. They simply failed because of me. I failed because of me. I failed them. They failed me back, but I didn’t care. I’ve been blaming and despising myself for so long, I even forgot and ignored how much they have wronged me. How is this possible? Well, when you’re busy hating yourself instead of letting go of the past, you have no capacity to recognize how others are mistreating you. I’m not playing the victim. Even though, for self-soothing and self-loving purposes, I should have discarded self-loathing a long time ago. I also just love the fact, that people have surpassed the threshold of bitterness, and the bitter aftertaste of what it means trying to love me. I have never surpassed this threshold for myself. And I am not sure that I ever will.”