Do we all need love therapy?

To answer the question briefly: We don’t, BUT…

But, what about those of us, including me, who are struggling their whole lives to graple around the idea of love and relationships, and what type of relationships are right for me, what type of relationships do I want and desire, and what type of relationships I should lead in order to gain experiences and become more mature?

To this day, and I am in my late 20s, I am of the impression that I still see the idea of love and relationships (romantic and sexual relationship between two people) like a fairytale-dream, without much acknowledgment of how much work needs to be done in areas which resemble a realistic everyday life together.

Whenever I love someone and am in a relationship with them, I never think about the fact that balance and tranquility need to exist in order to get along. The daily life and its struggles are the most important getting-along in a long-term romantic relationship, to ensure there is a palpable future together.

Am I the only one who never thought about it? Am I the only one who kept failing all my relationships with people who loved and cared for me, because I was unable to lead a stable everyday life and just be good to them and to myself, and just be cool, calm and collected?

Was my idea of love too dreamy, too outer space, too overwhelming and demanding to just accept people, life and my relationships as they were?

Was it my fault to see it this way, or are most of us unable to grasp the true meaning of love and relationships because of unrealistic expectations, media, books, movies and failed past relationships?

Because of all this, I think we put too much pressure on ourselves and others when we are in a relationship. We expect ourselves to give our all, we expect our partners to give their all and even more. And we expect our realtionship to follow a certain path or head in a certain direction. These utterly unrealstic, unhealthy and overbearing expectations make us fail, lie, argue, fight, ignore, leave and misunderstand our partner continuously.

Yet, I don’t think it’s entirely our fault. I think it comes from being human, being alive, carrying all the weight of social media and growing up on our shoulders, but also, the weight of our brains and the entire concept of love which is never taught anywhere; except falsely. Relationships are not explained in school or at work and most of us expect too much from a relationship, instead of simply enjoying the highs and lows as they come, without forcing anything or anyone to BE love and give love.

For this reason, if everyone, who thinks this way, would need a therapy, then nobody, who thinks this way, actually needs a therapy. Don’t worry darling, you’re good.