I will forever be afraid of social media. I’m scared of WhatsApp, Facebook, iMessage, TikTok, Instagram, Gmail, Outlook and other message-carrying-transmitters; every medium which is able to deliver a message is my biggest fear. I fear it more than an eye-to-eye conversation. Strange, right?

So many thoughts and emotions circle around a person’s body without the presence of another beating heart, hence why many break-ups, changes of mind, suggestions and ideas are being created in peace and calm with oneself, and only then transmitted to the receiver of this cruel decision which forever changes lives of all people involved. It takes one message, one accidental or intentional touch of any finger or nose tip to give me or anyone else who shares my fear, a heart attack for life. I’m so scared because it constantly happens. Near-death, goodbyes and drastically changing situations have been announced to me via text. Am I supposed to sing “cheerio”? Of course not.

I developed a fearing gaze at each and single name that appears on my phone screen, day in, day out. Especially when texting habits of someone I know suddenly change their behaviour. I instantly get a bad feeling, a bad vibe or simply a sign that something unusual is going to happen. Am I the only one who has this feeling? I highly doubt so.

Surely, we all need to learn how to fall, being dropped, being broken or even how to break someone ourselves. Every soul on this planet is a sinner and a saint simultaneously. Nothing or no one is unique and singular, only an accumulation of multiple equations, unable to be sold or understood to its fullest potential. Nothing is clear, solved or forever gone. To me, words are the most powerful tool that has ever been created to demolish lives. Not actions, certainly not. Actions carry a physical aspect, a thing, a decision, something “finished” no matter how unfinished something is. Whereas words, words are only made of sound waves, breaths of air, muscle contractions, man-made alphabets and weirdly formed letters travelling through a cave of human tissue, reaching all sorts of elements stuck in the sky, bouncing off of them, and reaching someone’s ears. And then, surprise surprise, the words, which have once been spoken, disappear somewhere, forever. Nirvana. Untouchable and non-existent, words are purely messages, triggering a reaction.

Do you get me? I’m simply scared of something that doesn’t even exist. This non-existent phenomenon however, is able to hurt, disappoint and even kill.