Lately, I have gained a lot of inspiration from a number sources. One major source which leads me to writing is humans. Humans in any variation, on any screenplay or production, movies, books, conversations or simply and stupidly gazing at someone on the streets. Life teaches us a lesson every day and today, I finally feel like I can close a major struggling chapter in my life. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m surprisingly happy, even though I am in no official relationship. I love someone on long distane and it’s tough.

After watching various movies from different cinematographic industries, it seems to me that a deep sense of inclusion hit me. I feel like one in a million, but it’s the million which makes me feel exactly that I’m not alone and part of the bigger picture. I have had big troubles of getting over my first love and managing other partners after that. However, through many on-screen and real-life influences, and after analysing other people’s relationships and losses, I came to the conclusion that I should stop being miserable and always slipping into loving my ex. This love is not there anymore and it won’t return. Hence why I need to come to terms with acceptance of the situation, letting go and moving on. Today brought me the gift of feeling that I was capable of mastering this holy trinity. Some people race to erase memories and their loved ones immediately, but this emotional suppression haunts everyone down eventually. I instead, do not suppress. I explode regularly. Hatred, sadness and despair cover my daily portion of self-destruction; usually more than recommended. This shouldn’t happen, but listening to dry and rational people’s advice doesn’t help me at all. Your friends and family who care for you try to build you up and motivate you to overcome your pain, which usually proves of bringing no great success. Sometimes they make everything much worse and you end up as an emotional wreck on you bedroom or bathroom floor. In the end, it’s you who has to find some kind of miracle medicine which fills your broken and shattered holes and replace them with new tissue to create a pretty and memorable scar.

Having said this, after reflecting on the past months, I treasure the people who are in my life more than anything. I am thankful to be surrounded by my gorgeous family and a few very close friends who love me and whom I love back dearly. An ex is simply an ex. They don’t define your life. They make up a piece of you and take up a tiny space in your monstrous heart. Yes, it’s monstrous, a billion hectares, and you’re the ultimate million dollar baby. You just don’t know it yet. Why do I sound like everyone else who gives shallow life advice right now, you think? Well because, belive it or not, your head and heart will reach a point, on a random day, where you will know that this particular door, that you have been struggling with for a long time, has closed for sure. Then you will also realise that I was right. May it be someone you lost, or a lousy job you got fired from, a meaningful object that has broken or any other form of loss. The most important aspect of our human lives, that makes us live day in day out, breathe and smile constantly, is feeling good about ourselves. Recovery from loss and love is what we live for, and will continue to work on. Thus, make it easier for yourself in the first place and let people influence and inspire you, and soon you might realise how one book, movie, or a free flower that you received from a stranger on the street, can change your perspective on your seemingly lonely and crappy life.

Trust me, if you are reading this right now, it’s not crap at all, your life is so beautiful.